Just a quick update
It is a week before Christmas and I am back on El Hierro where I will settle for a few months. With the help of the locals I will re-start my life here and try new ways of living. My twin still can't commit and I sadly but confidently jump into this new, life changing adventure alone. Like I did it in London in 2010 when I started to live independently in Hackney. My current situation is dangerously similar! I don't just feel the changes anymore but actively live them! A 7 year cycle has finished and I begin a new one using the experience and lessons I have learned from the past. Also using my inner strength, integrity & wisdom to go ahead with plans for creative ideas and trust for success based on the wholeness I feel within again.
I lost the "wholeness" feeling when my twin turned up in my life 2 years ago and now that I accept that we won't be together (I literally gave up hope!...Maybe this is the real "let go" and this is when it happens... Especially now that the energy readers forecast the Divine Masculine's return for Dec. 2017). My last experience with my twin was on the phone a week ago and I lived the same misunderstanding with him as before. He still doesn't connect with his heart and although I can reach him in 5D, his 3D self is not aware. He's not doing his job. He's not awakening. At least I don't see signs of his progress...yet.
Where have I been?
By now I have travelled to all 7 +1 (La Graciosa) Canary Islands. The last one I visited was Gran Canaria. Here I experienced deep sadness and cried every single day! Where did all this sadness come from so suddenly? I had no outside influences giving me the reason! My soul felt deeply alone whether it was because of my twin or the collective energies or something about and/or around my accommodation which affected me negatively? I may never find out but it felt supportive to hear few other DF-s were experiencing similar pain. My soul was yearning to go home. What do I mean my soul wanted to go home? I remember my tears falling madly while I was whispering to myself that I wanted to go home. Like Dorothy does in The Wizard of Oz when she taps her ruby red shoes together three times while repeating "There's no place like home" with the difference that I didn't tap my purple New Balance shoes together and I was saying "I want to go home".
I want to go home
"Where is home?" I asked myself one day. The answer was 2 places: my twin and El Hierro.
Maybe this painful feeling was connected to the fact that I blocked my DM when I was on Fuerteventura. Or to be more precise I felt his soul's deep sadness (which presented in a form of anger in his 3D self) of losing me due to my action of blocking him. The point is that I felt very very lonely and wanted to go home.. Or go back? Go back to the feeling of hope for our union with unblocking him.
I felt the pain in my chest so strongly that I eventually manifested illness in my body (emotional stress or pain results low vibration results weak immune system results illness or ailment). I came down with flu symptoms. At the same time my twin was having the flu too. Just know because we talked on the phone...Eventually I unblocked him on whatsup and reached out. We again had a heart-ego/ warmth-cold/ compassion-anger type of exchange of words that I can't even call conversation. My sadness deepened. It was unbearable. After I hung up I waited a little while to adapt my feelings and let my tears soak my cheeks then I rose above my pain choosing not to be beaten up by it and sent a loving message to him:
"I see you as a warm-hearted, kind, intelligent man (under your BIG ego)...I don't understand why you show yourself to be the opposite?! It's like you're wearing a mask and defend yourself!...
You have a beautiful, sensitive soul and it hurts to see you sharing it with others who don't appreciate it! ...Maybe you understand it one day when you stop drinking your feelings away.."
The next day I booked my flight back to El Hierro.
In a nutshell that's how it happened that I got back to the smallest Canary Island. I will write longer with details and adding photos of my travel adventures as soon as I have settled. It has been a busy and active 4 months around the islands and I could only keep my instagram account updated smoothly. I will be back on track with writing and posting regularly again after I get the housing and internet anxieties sorted hopefully by February! I can't wait to sit down on my sunny terrace (wish to find a place with a terrace or garden!) and type my day away! I really miss it!
Until then I continue to try and keep my insta account active: @peppersweetlova. You can follow me there, if you're interested in how I get on with the changes or check photos & video clips on the Canaries. :)
Lots of love!
Until next time have a nice day everyone! ♡