Extra infos regard my 1st post & LET GO
An amazing thing has happened! After writing my first post my eczema spots on my palm disappeared! They came out about a month ago, they weren't too bad, just a few dry & red funny spots, and they are gone now. I noticed I felt a certain happy relief, calmness and confidence that "I am on the right track" within me when I was writing the first post so it can be that some healing has happened inside of me.
I aim to write longer on the underlined phrases in my first blog post. Let's get to the point!
BIG city. London. 11 years.
I find it important where you are from, where you are now and where you are going. Everything shapes you. Everything has a reason. Sometimes we don't find much reasoning even after deep digging/ thinking but if you listen to your inner voice, you'll find out enough that you need for the now. And maybe in the future you will find more and you can put the pieces together to make sense out of the situation.
If that is true what I heard from some twin flame readers on youtube that "if twin flames unite, it sends out waves of positive vibration/ energy to the world which is sensed by other beings (humans and I guess animals too..)" then there must be a reason where and when these twin flames are uniting. If it is in the control of the Universe then the Universe navigates the counterparts into the direction where this positive vibration is very much needed e.g. less human/ cold hearted environments, troubled locations, negative/ low vibrational places. Which would make perfect sense in London where - I don't want to but I am going to generalise here - people are distant and cold, ignore their feelings and/or uncomfortable and unexpressive with feelings, money orientated/ EGO based, passive aggressive, disinterested in one another, lacking compassion which among other things stems from their isolation from rest of Europe (as it is an island on the west coast of Europe) and of course because most of the time rainy, grey clouded, gloomy, depressive, cold, damp, windy which definitely affect people's mood, creativity, motivation and behaviour here. I find the city being a low vibrational, soulless, lonely place. Politically I am not much informed but in Spring 2019 is when the BREXIT (Britain leaves the European Union) officially happens and supportive love may be needed to go through with the changes and losses. Also Angelic Therapy and Healing youtube twin flame reader states that except a very small amount but otherwise all twin flames come into union before the end of 2019. I think because the energy can shift and with the energy shift behaviour can change so can't be 100% sure with these infos. We shall not have expectations. Let's just try to live and embrace the journey.
Moving on. My voice.
I could keep up my higher vibration and excitement for 9 years with, for example, changing my living circumstances (moving to different locations, flatmates moving in and out brought new energy), changing jobs/ work environments, devoting to creative activities (I do design, photo, graphics), attending music gigs, having close friends around to share experiences and lots of laughter with. I had my motivation, I felt I was going somewhere. I went through waves of wanting to leave the country but I kept finding new challenges again which made me stay. Somehow I made it till 11 years. However in the past 2 years since around the time my twin entered my life I started to feel extremely lonely and tackled with annoying health issues becoming worse and worse slowly. I also moved to a house where I experienced my flatmates being rather cold, disinterested with having not much in common. They closed themselves in their rooms and hardly spoke. The house was quiet, cold and dark. Exactly like the people who lived there. I knew after a month that I wouldn't be happy here but I had to stay for minimum 3 months according to my contract and then my twin flame moved in too who was very much like me and with whom we lit the place up and shared fun, loving times until a couple of months when he started to push me away and eventually moved on.
All my friends I loved spending time with had left the country by now (everybody feels the low vibration!) I had no one to share experiences with. Due to my job type and house situation I didn't meet new people and those I met I didn't bond with. I turned inward. I still worked hard to keep me going with my little light of plans and ideas, engaged with activities that I enjoyed but it felt like I was dragging myself to do so. It was a struggle to make the effort. I slowly started NOT being my life-loving self. I started not to care about what I eat, I hardly cooked for myself, I was not interested in going out to gain new experiences. I have become pretty much what my flatmates were who just came home after work and closed themselves in their rooms. So within a year I kind of lost my voice! Not literally but what I mean is I lost to voice my thoughts, my feelings, my ideas that I do with friends and in a creative, inspiring environment. There were no people around me that I could share myself with. My honest caring interest for getting to know others was received with disinterest. And just not long ago I realised it was the plan of the universe to make me turn inward and withdraw from life and some cases distractive friends (love you all!) in order to learn about my connection, make effort to keep it up in 5D that apparently my twin needed (yes! you feed them with your energy and try to heal both of you. Sounds unfair I know! No wonder I felt down for so long!) learn about healing methods, the chakras and my old hidden wounds. Some going back as far as baby age in my case but that will be another story I will share in a separate post.
Anyways, so I understand now why this all happened the way it did and I feel I have finished a cycle and time to move on to somewhere where I can rise my vibration (if I feel good, my twin feels good too) and feel heard again. Also I think as I have many unspoken thoughts piled up within me by that I was gently being pushed back to writing. I have started to feel the need again to write and share my thoughts and story.
Youtube twin flame reader Nicole from Angelic Therapy and Healing explained in her "Special Twin Flame Reading/Message – June 2017" video why the feminine needs to do the healing work. I personally find this reading being one of the most important messages that brought light and understanding in me. I also experienced the "angel calling" signs she mentions, which are the horse and trumpet, in a super funny way through the children I nannied for.
Allow me to share her video and quote her below:
"For thousands of years women have been oppressed. Women were supposed to be seen not heard. They were just supposed to be in the background. We are breaking down these barriers. That is one of the big things we're here to do as twins. We are busting through those barriers. We are healing those things. We are helping feminine to reclaim their power. Because we are helping the feminine, women to step back into their power, reclaim their power, heal all the things that have happened in these thousands of years that is why the feminine is taking the lead in this union. It is the work that has to be done between the two of them (btw DM and DF) but also collectively what has to be done to heal that energy for women worldwide."
Moving on. Let go.
I feel I can, in fact I have to let my twin an the twin energy go for a while and focus on my "mission" which is something to do with writing in my case. Not particularly writing this blog but I have another personal project I had been working on for years that I neglected and recently have received signs and calling to get back to it. Also the Life Coaching course I completed directed me back to this subject!
I experience the letting go without pain, from a state of love and it just feel normal to be honest. I have to admit that I am one of those twins who gives my counterpart space and I am not concerned about what is going on with him. I choose not to make myself suffer more with witnessing him sharing himself with others who are not even truly interested in him and so I don't follow him on social media either. I think he has to go through with what he chooses to go through with, get to know himself, learn his lessons, experience what he felt he was kept from in the past (I am saying this as my twin might have felt limited by others, maybe by his karmic relationship and now he's just gone wild into the night enjoying his life as if he hadn't been able to do it before and as well dedicating himself to his career so he is fully devoted to himself and not wanting to open up to love yet again).
The letting go, in my case, is not just about my twin connection. I feel it is more to do with letting go where and how I lived and the work I was doing which didn't serve my higher self. It really is about the past 2 year period in my life when my twin turned up when things started to go down. Maybe he came to push me back to the right direction! Anyways, I got sucked up with other people's including my twin's energy around me and what they wanted from me and I felt it be dark clouds weighing down on me (literally as London is very dark and cloudy most times, haha!). I could not focus on, or they didn't want to give me what I needed which was love and harmony. With that I neglected the work that was important to me. I was lacking motivation and inspiration to progress with my creative business and the writing project. I spent more time & energy on how to bounce back, block and heal myself from the needy and low vibrational environment. So I decided to break this! I drag myself out, take the risk to leave it all behind and give myself the chance to succeed in my heart's calling. :) At least for the now I need a break and focus on myself only. With love. I am not leaving with anger and resentment but with pure love within me and for others who trapped themselves in their belief of "things have to be in a certain way" and with their behaviour they trapped me as they don't know other. I can forgive this behaviour pattern and let go. That is where I am now and again. This is not the first time I am experiencing it that is why I have no fear. :)
Think about your situation: where, how, and why you think your twin turned up in your life? And what do you think your soul work is? I believe they came to call our attention to do something. Try to find the reason in your life. What are you good at? What are you hiding in the back of your mind or being fearful of doing but your heart really wants to try? Try to discover yourself, your potential and your calling.
Thank you for stopping by and reading!
Until next time ♡